COCONUTS

The group is a group of dialogue, of getting to know the other, of listening to what the other is and how they see things, whether it is about the conflict, their culture, history as it is understood. But from a dialogue group, it has transformed itself into a circle of friends in which more personal questions can be shared. While Israelis and Palestinians have almost no opportunity to rub shoulders, this group shatters the traditional barriers of communities and shows them that it is possible to have friends on the other side .

The trip to Switzerland is of course an opportunity to discover a new country and new people, but probably most important is what it will bring to the group. They expect difficult discussions, but they also believe that these 10 days of coexistence will create very strong bonds.

Amira: "I felt lost, I started to worry."
Rivital: "It was nice because the Swiss lent us real hiking boots, much better than the ones we had and lots of clothes for "those in need". Since then, since everything has been delayed, we are late, but it's ok, we are not Swiss, we are from the Middle East !!!"

Last night, the elders organized a game. They prepared small papers on which each one had to write a little note to...
1- someone who had impressed her,
2- someone who had made her happy or made her laugh
3- someone who had said something remarkable or who had inspired her
4- someone she wanted to get to know better
5- someone she had gotten to know

The letters were to be given to the girls for whom they were written. At the end of the game, the girls had time to read the letters, and there were lots of smiles, lots of hugs, and you could feel how warm the atmosphere was...

On Monday morning during the work session, the girls discussed their choice of roommate at the cottage and how they felt about it.

Amira J. (elder): "There was openness, the girls opened up, they shared their feelings for each other, there was solidarity. The girls faced the challenge of being accepted, of being welcomed, or of feeling strangers, shy and many other things...".

Sylvie: "I am here for the 5th time with a group that is always different, always full of surprises, and it is clear to me that the experience does not really help me, except from a purely technical point of view. There is always a need to constantly listen to the voices, to keep in mind the personal stories that everyone brings with them and the need to be constantly and unceasingly encouraging. I am really spoiled by the remarkable quality of the coaching, Linda, Mona, Rivita, Amira and Rina... and I feel that these girls who have chosen to be part of this adventure are learning more and more every day. And it's fascinating to see that we who coach them are also learning just as much! Yesterday, I had a long conversation with 4 girls from the group. They asked me why they were selected, they wanted to understand the selection process, they gave me advice on how I should recruit the groups next time, they helped me, they were committed, curious and we talked LOTS. Noam was very interested and asked a lot of questions. Alona gave me new ideas, it was a real enrichment."

"My name is Aya, I am a young Palestinian girl living in Jerusalem. This is my first year with the COCONUTS group. This group has changed me a lot, we have had a dialogue between Palestinians and Israelis and through these discussions we have exchanged our points of view, we have listened to each other and also understood each other. These last two days I am in Switzerland with the incredible group of COCONUTS. We all live in the same chalet, for me it is really a very special experience and totally different from anything I have experienced so far. I live with 15 girls who all mean something very special to me, they all encourage me and it's so nice to be all together, we sleep, eat and do so many other things together. During the work sessions we have, we discuss all kinds of topics and with every discussion and dialogue I learn something and it makes me stronger and smarter."

"My name is Alona, I am a young Jewish girl from Jerusalem who participates in the Young Moderate Voices program. I am now for the first time in Switzerland. The landscape is incredibly beautiful everywhere - even the road from the airport was beautiful. It is so different from Israel... Yesterday we went hiking with François to Lac Bleu, this beautiful little lake on top of a mountain. The hike was quite difficult, especially for me who has no sense of balance and I fell 18 times. It was still worth it. When we finally reached the top, Linda (our mediator) said that this was a piece of paradise, and I had to agree. Of course, I rushed into the lake and I was completely frozen. At least now I have a good story to tell when I get back. The bus ride from the mountain to our chalet was also full of surprises -, I've never been in a bus as clean and quiet as this one! We didn't stop looking for graffiti or maybe a piece of gum, but we didn't find anything. It's really a shock to be in a place that doesn't look the least bit like home and I'm so grateful for the chance I have. I love Switzerland."

Today, Sylvie and her sore back and Amanda and her sore knee were eating ravioli, salad, cherries... and discussing what had happened to Amanda during that stay. We had a long long conversation.

Amanda said to me, "In Israel I never imagined that I would talk to some of the girls and now I feel like I have contact with them, even with a girl in my class and the contact only started here. I suddenly found out that they were different from what I thought they were. I perceived them as shy and I discovered that they knew how to have fun. We slept together at the cottage or with families, and I discovered them.

Yesterday, we went to Geneva and we were able to discover things ourselves, not through the eyes of a guide. We didn't follow a plan, but we had a mission and a map and we could be free and do what we wanted to do at the time, ask passers-by, go by other paths... we felt independent and we liked it! We went to a bar and bought some pancakes, and we asked someone to translate the menu for us... and the woman spoke Arabic and chatted with Dalal in the bar and invited us and paid for us! We went to Évelyne's house for dinner and many girls loved it, we felt like going to grandma's house. But when I did the Kabbalat Shab-bath, the blessing of the candles, and no one was really listening, I was not happy, like not being respected?

In my host family, I didn't feel comfortable, I didn't have enough time with them to get to know them better and feel more comfortable. Sometimes I am embarrassed to ask for something. Yet we have warm contacts and they try to make us feel comfortable. We prepare some of the work sessions ourselves. Each time something new and different comes out of it. Today we had an incredible session on "My place in the country". It brought us to very good discussions because we started from such a concrete topic. It was really interesting. Arab girls say they pay taxes but their streets are only cleaned once a month. We tried to explain to them that Jews don't like to go to their neighborhoods because they are afraid of receiving stones. But the Arab girls feel that there are good reasons to throw stones.

In Israel, I didn't talk so much and here I suddenly feel concerned by the discussions. During one of these discussions, I remember that we talked about terrorists and the Arab girls said that they were "freedom warriors". For us, it's impossible to understand that... Another day, one of us talked about Gilad Châlit and the fact that he is a prisoner and many of the Arab girls didn't know anything about him, and they also talked about their prisoners and I said they were terrorists but one of the (Arab) girls cried because one of her family members is in prison and the discussion became really too difficult and we couldn't continue. I understand them in some way, but I don't really want to understand them because I can't justify their actions."

Here is how the game is played: between each layer of newspaper there is a question or something fun to do. The ball is passed from one player to another until the music stops. Whoever has the ball when the music stops tears the first layer of paper and answers the question or does what is asked. If it is a "serious" question, she passes it on to the person whose answer she would like to hear. Under the last layer, a doll is hidden. The person who receives the doll keeps it for the next activity ... which is: CONVERSATION. How the conversation goes: only the person holding the doll can talk about his or her feelings and the topics that were discussed during the game. The doll represents "the little person in the country". It is small compared to the circle of players as we are small compared to the country...

Here are the "serious" questions

1.   What is democracy? !
2.   Do you think Israel is a state for Jews and Arabs alike?
3.   Do you stand up when you hear the "Tikvah" (Israeli national anthem)? and why?
4.   Are you going to go to the army and why?
5.   What do you think about Noa going to the army?
6.   Do you recognize yourself in the Israeli/Palestinian flag and why?
7.   Do you think there should be Palestinian representatives in the Knesset?
8.   When you are old enough to vote in the Knesset or in the municipal elections, will you vote? why?
9.   In what kind of country will you feel comfortable?
10. Will you support a Palestinian state?
11. Would you support a two-state solution?
12. If the two-state solution became a reality and your home was in the "other" country, and you could stay where you are, would you move?
13. Do you think they will let you stay in your house?
14. If there are two states, where would you want Jerusalem to be?
15. What are you going to do to help your country have a better future?

Here are the fun things to do

1. Take a friend and dance the "Hora".
2. If you only had one day to live, what would you do?!
3. Sing a song in Arabic/Hebrew and teach it to everyone
4. Tell us one of your darkest secrets
5. Take a friend and dance the Dabke
6. Name 3 living or dead people you would like to have dinner with
7. Name 3 very famous people you think should get a haircut
8. Juman, stand up and teach the one who reads how to belly-dance
9. Imitate anyone in the group/ or one of the moderators

10. Ask anyone for anything
11. Jump 30 times on one foot saying "I'm a funny little monkey".
12. If you were an animal, which one would you want to be?
13. Imitate the animal from the last round
14. What's the most embarrassing CD you've ever owned and sing in one song
15. If you had to go to a desert island, what is the only thing you would take with you?
16. What is the stupidest thing you ever dreamed of?
17. What's the stupidest thing you've ever worn?
18. Do you have stupid beliefs? (it's time to tell us about your lucky underwear or how your neighbor's cat disappeared)
19. Say what was the best session by giving one of the following answers:
a / this session
b / the session with the newspaper ball
c / the session organized by Noa, Dalal, Michal & Eman
d / all the answers are good because they are great

The questions and tasks were mixed.

July 28th / Danielle this morning writes us

"Hello everyone,
I would like to share with you a gift received this morning by our two daughters that motivates us to continue our annual COEXISTER experience.
Breakfast, my two daughters are ready for the shopping day (needless to say that it didn't take them more than 5 minutes to get out of bed), the phone rings, it's Amanda's father, after a few palaver conversations, I pass her "princess" to him. 30 seconds later, Georgina's daughter rings in her turn: her daddy too (ah those fathers and their daughters!). And here are my two daughters who, while biting their chocolate poppies, babble with their sire speaking each in his own language (Hebrew and Arabic). Even with a camera at the end of my arm, I couldn't have filmed as I was so moved and I didn't want to lose a crumb of this scene. THANK YOU Sylvie, Linda, Mona, Rina and COEXISTENCES."

Later on...

The families met their daughters at the train station for the last farewell before their departure for the airport and Jerusalem. They arrived with all kinds of purchases and stuffed everything in their suitcases after showing off their shopping. There was a small mess with the bus which is late to arrive, it is so much the better, we have more time to laugh a little more. The bus arrives, we understand that the time has come and all of us kiss each other, the eyes begin to mist up. Every year it is the same thing and yet every year we cry with emotion at the idea of separating us from our "daughters" and to see them leaving. This year's bus driver is terribly nice, he has understood how special this group is and makes us laugh as he bids us farewell as if he was also leaving far away.

The bus is shaking. As in previous years, the families rush across the road to see it pass by and make a last goodbye sign. Some leave, others feel a little dizzy and decide to share a drink at the café at the train station. The emotion subsided a long hour later, we all go home thinking about this year, the previous years and next year.